Apple and Cinnamon Crumble Traybake

Returning to this blog feels all so very strange, especially when I haven’t really committed to a posting schedule since 2018 and we're in the middle of a pandemic. 

Last year felt like a fairly busy year; it had its highs and definitely some lows, so I’m happy to say goodbye to 2019. But 2020 isn't exactly turning out to the wondrous year I think everyone hoped it would be? 

A little while ago now (probably back when I actually made this apple and cinnamon traybake) I had the realisation, mid a deep career driven conversation with my friend, that I was stuck in a failure loop. 

She asked what was I afraid of most? The only answer that stuck out in my mind was: failure.

The fear that was holding me back from something was failing, but actually with the rut I’m stuck in, I’m already failing myself. It was a harsh realisation, but one I probably needed to realise where I’m currently going wrong in my life.

I appear to have already self-sabotaged my own success but stunting any progression because of this fear of failure. It had taken up residency in my mind all this time and settled in, made its bed, put fancy cushions on and everything... and I hadn’t even noticed.

I want to be a success. I want to make something of my life. I want to do better. I want to progress. Doesn’t everyone?

But I’ve always felt like I couldn’t, that I never would be that person to succeed. I always would worry about what would happen if this happened, or what if I couldn’t do it? Or what if I wouldn’t make it? The idea of failing can be such a dark cloud over your thoughts sometimes that it stops you from making any big decisions in your life... and actually progressing.

It’s now made me think, has me being indecisive all these years just stemmed from this failure fear? Or the fear of just not making the right decision?

For too long I’ve been laid back, procrastinating my way through projects and putting off working on what I’m passionate about because I’ve been too scared of failing.

But in doing so, I’m just failing myself anyway. Worst kinda catch 22 really, isn’t it?

So in the spirit of it being a new decade and all, which just feels all so terrifying really, and me renewing this domain for another year, I’m gonna try and put the fear of failure behind me and try and not procrastinate too much. 

I’ve also made it a mission to eat more vegetables and less meat, but that’s a different kind of goal... but still very achievable in these COVID times. 

Apple and Cinnamon Crumble Traybake

Makes a 9x13 inch traybake

Ingredients:

Cake:
10oz unsalted butter, room temperature

10oz caster sugar

5 large eggs, room temperature

2 tsp vanilla extract

10 oz self raising flour

2 tsp baking powder

3 tbsp milk

8-10 cooking apples (or green apples will do), peeled and sliced not too thinly 

Swirl:
100g light brown sugar
2 tbsp cinnamon

Crumble topping:
220g plain flour
80g light brown sugar
140g butter, cold and cubed

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F and line and lightly flour a 9x13 rectangle tin. 
2. To make the cake, cream together your butter and sugar until light and fluffy, this should take around 5 minutes. Beating them together for longer will help create little air pockets, which will ultimately help with your cake rising. 
3. Add your eggs one at a time and then your vanilla extract, and beat on medium-high for further 2 minutes. 
4. Then add your flour and baking powder, being careful to mix until just combined. Add 3 tbsp of milk to loosen the mixture. If you feel your mix is a little too thick, add a splash more mix and fold in until smooth. Scrap down your bowl to ensure that the flour is incorporated then set aside. 
5. Peel your apples, then chop into slices and set aside. 
6. To make your cinnamon swirl, mix together your brown sugar and cinnamon and then set aside. 
7. To make your crumble topping, whisk the flour and light brown sugar together, then rub in the cold and cubed butter until you get a light clumpy consistency. Squeeze together the mix so you can achieve some small clumps throughout. 
8. To assemble, spread half of your cake mix in your prepared tin, then sprinkle across your cinnamon swirl mixture. Then spread the rest of your cake mixture across. With a skewer, swirl your mixture together. Layer your apples across the top evenly, before topping with your crumble mixture. 
9. Cover the dish in foil and place in the oven to bake for 40 minutes. At the 30 minute mark, remove the foil and allow the crumble to brown, cook for the remaining 10 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.